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In our lives we experience being born. While that may sound silly, and given, most people don’t understand that our experiences in what order we are born in, or as an only child, can greatly determine our personality and intimate characteristics.
As a first-born child you may find yourself feeling the need to set an example and almost “lead” your siblings. This is because a first born seeks approval from their parents, therefore they believe that the approval will be bestowed upon them if they can keep their siblings in line.
They also feel that all their experiences are unique because they were the first of their siblings to experience them. This can cause jealousy when the younger siblings begin to start the things that the oldest sibling felt was always “their thing.” In adulthood, the oldest sibling will begin to feel like they have things taken away from them, this is because they must grow up the fastest.
They have to grow up the fastest because when their siblings are born, adults no longer “baby” them, as they are no longer seen as the baby. On a more positive note, oldest siblings are also the most organized and hardworking, this happens because they are the most approval seeking of their parents, so therefore they believe that their achievements will grant them love.
Middle children are known to be the most difficult children, and it is a proven fact that a middle child will receive the least amount of attention from their parents. Middle children struggle with their identities at home, which leads them to form strong connections outside of the home, whether it’s with friends or a significant other.
Middle children in adulthood will have a hard time sharing because as children they had to share everything, they received hand-me-downs from the oldest, and shared toys with the youngest. This will also create a powerful negotiator/mediator because they had to negotiate at home to get what they wanted. Middle children tend to be very competitive because at home, they felt like they had to compete for time and attention from their parents. Middle children can become very even tempered due to feelings of being overshadowed by others, they also tend to be very friendly and loyal.
The youngest children are the most rebellious and attention seeking. They will be the most people oriented and manipulative, because they spend time growing up in a home where they can observe the way the people around them interact with each other, this leads them to have a more intimate understanding of the emotions of others.
Youngest children will be very dependent on others as adults, this is because they are usually the most babied of the siblings and rely on others for support. Youngest children will be thought of as entertaining, this is because their family watches them, because they are always the “baby”, because they feel constantly watched, they will feel pressure to constantly entertain.
Only children, or children without any siblings, tend to be bad at compromising, as they grow up in a household in which they did not have to share. However, only children are usually high achieving, because they usually have a strong family support system that can focus on just them. Only children tend to be the bossiest because they didn’t grow up in a household where they were told what to do often, by their peers, they were only given instruction by their parents.
While birth order theory can be accurate and fun to look at, there are always going to be outside factors that will affect how you act, like gender and age difference. However, sometimes it can be true too.
It is always important to take these things into account when you are working closely with or for someone, because it can make you more successful in working with different personalities, and understanding how your peers’ characteristics came to be.
