A letter to you: my someday daughter

Hey sister. I hope you don’t mind that I call you sister. Well, even if you do mind, I still will. Your great-great grandma called me sister.

She was good. Grandma Boyette was strong and funny and always laughing. I remember she wore these little pink slippers and mowed the lawn when she was eighty. She made the best lemonade, hands down.

I’ll never make you lemonade that tastes that good. Unless by some chance, someday, your daughter will have a daughter and by then I will have the whole lemonade thing perfected. It would be fun to be grandmas together. Let’s do it.

Also, let’s talk about your great grandma. I’m not sure what you’ll call her, but she’s Nanny to me. She prays– all the time, about everything. She prays about parking tickets, tests, boys (fun fact: we don’t know who your dad will be yet), and I bet she prays for you. She’s probably gotten me through a lot more life than I can understand right now.

She is soft. She has a gentle heart, and she loves to serve people around her. It gives her life to give to us.

You know your grandma. Oh man. That’s my mom. She is free. She’s older than you and me but her heart is just as young as ours.

She’s also incredibly interested. She’ll be interested in you— in your details. She’s interested in my friends, the trees outside of my apartment in autumn, how much I’ve been sleeping and what I ate for lunch today. She’ll ask you so many questions and make you want to dream until your head is so heavy with plans that the wind could tip you right over.

No worries, she’ll come and pick you up and give you the feet to take your heart where it’s hoping to go. She’ll go with you.

Then there I am. By the time you’re old enough to read this you’ll already know it. But I’m trying. I’m trying to make you so happy. I simultaneously know that sometimes you’ll want to do things that will hurt you, or lead you to become the kind of girl that isn’t fitting for your heart. So I’m going to do everything I can do stop those things, and it won’t always make you happy.

I’m trying to let you know that you are the coolest and most interesting girl, and that I have a total girl crush on you.

You can do anything, but you don’t have to. If you want to be a songwriter like me, I will feel so much joy. But guess what? You don’t have to do what I do. You don’t have to love all that I love, as long as you love something.

The same things that make me feel alive might not bring life to you, and that’s okay— as long something does. Find what makes you come alive and chase it down. Don’t let it out of your sight. Go where the beauty is and make sure you really see it.

It’ll all be in you—the strength of Grandma Boyette, the love of Nanny and the freedom of Mom. But you don’t have to be just like us.

You’re you. And that is exactly enough.